What is Expected from Your Kids?

Our two daughter is generally pretty pleasant and polite at restaurants.  Even so, I don’t think I would take her to an establishment who thinks it’s their business to judge how “good or bad” my kids are at any particular evening.  Does the restaurant also offer discounts (or in actuality it was free ice cream that was written up on the bill as a discount) for adults who exhibit good behavior? I’ve seen many an adult act like an over tired child in need of a nap while out in public. Continue reading

Reducing Challenging Behaviors

Reducing Challenging Behaviors

After you have identified what triggers challenging behavior in your child, you can use that information to respond more positively to your child’s needs. Here are some tips for how to get started:

Change something from scene:

Change the room, activity, or people involved, so your child feels supported. For example, if your child becomes over-stimulated when playing games with her friends, you might recommend she limit the number of activities going on at one time (“Why don’t you turn off the TV while you’re playing your game?”) or try a different activity (such as painting or playing outside).

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Yelling is not The Solution Towards Kids

You know the drill: Your child is screaming at you, ignoring you, being irresponsible or hurtful. Suddenly, you’re yelling at the top of your lungs, matching him decibel for decibel. Later, you think, “Why did I fly off the handle again? I’m so tired of letting him push my buttons so easily.”

Yelling is a natural response when your kids are rude, not listening, engaging in irresponsible behavior or treating you poorly—or in any other situation that triggers your emotions. Even though you know it would be better if you could stay calm, it’s hard to always do that emotionally. Or you may even argue that yelling and making our kids afraid of us worked when we were growing up, so why shouldn’t we do that today?

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How to change your child’s unacceptable behavior

How to change your child’s poor behavior.

It’s inevitable that at times our kids are going to be angry at us, and that we’re going to set some limits that they don’t like. But that’s okay—that just means you’re doing your job as a parent. Here are 5 rules that will help you handle disrespect:

1. Don’t take it personally. I know this is a hard one, but try not to take what your child is saying or doing personally. This behavior really is all about them individuating, and not about you. Instead of allowing yourself to feel hurt or angry (which is a surefire way to get pulled into a power struggle), be clear and direct with your child. If they’re being mildly sassy and starting to push some boundaries, you can say, “Don’t talk to me that way, I don’t like it,” and then turn around and walk away. Tell them the behavior is wrong and then disengage from them. If your child’s behavior warrants a consequence, you can say, “It’s not okay to call me names or swear when I tell you can’t go to your friend’s house. I’m taking your cell phone for two hours. During that time, you need to show me you can behave respectfully to people in this house. If you swear or are rude again, the two hours will start over.” Remember, it doesn’t matter if your child likes you right now. This is about doing the right thing, and asking yourself, “What do I want to teach my child?”

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How to get your kids to listen?

Good communication skills are the foundation for building a great relationship with your kids. However, so many different elements get thrown in the way that listening and communicating aren’t always easy or effective.
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