Mother Daughter Relationship Tips

Do you need to improve-mother-daughter-relationships?
Here are 10 Ten Tips for mothers to improve on your mother-daughter- relationships.
Short and sweet.

Mother-Daughter Relationship-Problems Tip # 1

Are you pleasing your daughter a lot, are you tolerating her undesired behavior, are you avoiding her or are you not being yourself around your daughter?

Then ask yourself:

What do I want from my daughter ?
Make a list of what your wishes and expectations are:

• I want her to love me !
• I want her to support me
• I want her to help me with . . .
• I want her to be with me and not abandon me
• I want her to call me more often / less
• I want her to love herself more
• I want her to back me up when dealing with my lazy husband
• I want her to help me when I have less energy
• I want her to be more appreciative and grateful for all I did for her !
• I want . . .

Next, make a list of you perceive you are getting from your daughter:

• I get little support from her
• I get her help with preparing for my trip
• I get no help with connecting to my other kids
• I get her to visit me on holidays
• I get her to call me twice a month which is less than I want
• I get her unsolicited advice
• I get no signs of appreciation

Then ask yourself:

Is there a big difference between what I wished for, expected and what I get?
What can I do right now to close the gap on at least two items of my lists?
What can I do right now to improve-mother-daughter-relationships?

Take action on your insights.

Mother-Daughter Relationship-Problems Tip # 2
Believe it or not, at a certain point in her life your daughter doesn’t want to be like you.

She wants to break loose emotionally from you.
She wants to have her own life.
She wants to have other options than you did.
She wants to be a totally different woman and mother than you were or are right now.

This wanting to be different is understandable.
However it is difficult to be different from one’s mother as a daughter because one’s mother is usually very dominantly present in the unconscious mind.
Most daughters know and feel this and are resisting it in one way or another.

Some daughters travel to the other side of the globe to be away from their mother.

Some daughters make sure they have a totally different lifestyle as their mother.
They choose a mate that impacts their social life and circle.
This way these daughters also put a space between themselves and their mothers.
Or they have a different career, sport, hobby or different family planning.

Anything to proof to herself, her mother and others that she is totally different from her mother!

As a mother, ask yourself:
Can I allow my daughter some space to help her grow her own identity ?
Can I feel some compassion towards my daughter and her growing up as an individual ?
What can I do right now to improve-mother-daughter-relationships?

• Mother-Daughter Relationship-Problems  Tip # 3
Do I want to improve-mother-daughter-relationships now?
Your daughter wants unconditional love and acceptance from you.

As a mother, ask yourself:

Can I give unconditional love to her?
Did I get this from my own mother?

You may want to look at your own mother-daughter relationship first before working it out with your daughter.

• Mother-Daughter Relationship-Problems Tip # 4
Look at your daughter. Really look at her.
Do you see your expectations, projections, judgments or do you see HER ?

Train yourself to see only her, the person who also happens to be your daughter, who performs the role of being your daughter.
See only her and let go of all other images, projections and other stuff.

This is what you can do right now to improve-mother-daughter-relationships.
Watch what happens in your mother-daughter relationship.

Mother-Daughter Relationship-Problems  Tip # 5
As a mother, ask yourself:
Do I want to improve-mother-daughter-relationships now?
What things do/did I wish or want for myself that I am projecting onto my daughter?

• To have a big career ?
• To have a big family ?
• To have a small family or no kids ?
• To travel the world ?
• To marry up ?
• To be married or in a stable relationship ?
• To be more wealthy ?
• To be more healthy ?

• To be acknowledged in higher social circles ?
• To own a home or more homes ?

• To be a doctor, heart surgeon, lawyer or be academic ?
• To be famous singer, model, actress, artist or designer ?
• To be known, famous or glamorous ?
• Something else . . . ?

Do these things actually fit my daughter’s personality, character, life, her ambitions and inclinations?
Is she going to be happy when living up to MY expectations and projections?

Your daughter would be pleasing you when she is living up to your expectations and projections.
Most probably your daughter will not be happy.

You have brought your daughter into this world, gave her her life, sacrificed a lot, did a lot of things to bring your daughter up.
Still you can not demand her to live her life for you now.

Let go of your projections and expectations and release your daughter from this pressure.

Let it all go!
Watch what happens in your mother-daughter relationship.

Mother-Daughter Relationship-Problems  Tip # 6
At certain ages in different life phases your daughter may feel insecure about her relationships, choices and how to deal with life in general.
Feeling these insecurities, your daughter may feel vulnerable to show you her real feelings.
Your daughter may also feel that these feelings may be inappropriate or wrong in some way.

As a mother, ask yourself:

• Do I want to improve-mother-daughter-relationships now?
• Can I give my daughter some space to sort out her feelings ?
• Can I somehow let her know that it’s OK to feel insecure at times ?
• Can I help her with these feelings and validate that it’s OK to feel that way ?
• Can I give her my unconditional love ?
• Can I be patient with her now ?

Improve-Mother-Daughter-Relationships and watch what happens in your mother-daughter-relationships.

Mother-Daughter Relationship-Problems  Tip # 7
Are you angry with your daughter?
Your mother-daughter relationship will improve enormously if you would first release your anger.
Do I want to improve-mother-daughter-relationships now?
Here is a wonderful writing exercise to release your anger:

Get a writing pad and start writing and fill in the blank line of:
“I am angry with my daughter because . . .”

Give yourself permission to feel what you feel.
Allow all of your anger to surface now!
You don’t have to act upon these feelings!

It is not important if this anger is justified or not.
Just feel your anger and start writing:

“I am angry with my daughter because . . .”

Fill in the blanks and keep writing !
Write at least 4 pages with reasons why you feel angry with your daughter or other persons and situations!

Improve-Mother-Daughter-Relationships and watch what happens in your mother-daughter-relationships .

Mother-Daughter Relationship-Problems Tip # 8
Do you find your daughter to be dishonest with you ?
Disloyal ?
Manipulative ?
Not telling you everything ?
Disrespecting you ?
Not giving to you ?
Not being grateful to you ?
Not loving you ?

As a mother, ask yourself:

• Do I want to improve-mother-daughter-relationships now?
• Am I always honest ?
• Am I loyal?
• Am I leaving my daughter choices ?
• Do I respect myself ?
• Do I respect my daughter ?
• Am I giving and loving to my daughter ?
• Am I grateful for having my daughter just the way she is ?
• Was I giving and loving to my daughter when she was young ?

Consider answering these questions honestly for yourself.
Contemplate and look deeply into the situation.
Take action on your insights and watch what happens in your mother-daughter relationship . . .

Mother-Daughter Relationship-Problems  Tip # 9
How do you express affection in your mother-daughter relationship ?
List all the ways you express affection.
Think of more ways.

Think of ways that your daughter will understand and appreciate to improve-mother-daughter-relationships moving forward.

Now go and actually express your affection in old ways and in new ways.
Improve-Mother-Daughter-Relationships and watch what happens in your mother-daughter-relationships.

Mother-Daughter Relationship-Problems  Tip # 10
Strong opinions will not help any relationship.
Strong opinions stand in between the two of you, blocking the flow of a good relationship.

As a mother, ask yourself:

Do I hold strong opinions against my daughter ?
Do I judge her a lot knowingly or unknowingly ?
Do I critique her ?
Do I pick on her a lot ?
Do I show her how unhappy she makes me ?
How displeased I am with her ?

Consider answering these questions honestly for yourself.
Contemplate and look deeply into the situation.
Feel if you can change your attitude and views into a more affectionate one of approaching your daughter now.

Now improve-Mother-Daughter-Relationships and watch what happens in your mother-daughter-relationship. . . .

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